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Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face...

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Feb. 12th, 2008 | 07:44 pm
Locacion [spanish haha.]: home
emotion: gloomy gloomy
mooosic: Hurt - Christina Aguilera

Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face
You told me how proud you were, but I walked away
If only I knew what I know today
Ooh, ooh

So this weekend I went to Canada and had a blast! We left friday and came back yesterday. I was with Kait and this girl Crystal for most of the weekend. I did a few things that I did up there that I can't do in the states, well one thing really haha. All three of us went to a pub to eat, and 18 is the legal age to drink. So I ask to make sure it's okay for me to get a beer, and the waitress says "I do not understand" and I tried to explain and she did not know what I was talking about. So a corona for me! After we ate we went to a tattoo/piercing place and got myself an industrial -- will have pictures soon! At first it was $80 and I said no, cause it would of been like.. $89 cause of tax. He marked it down to like.. $65 and I got it. It hurts kinda now because I put hydrogen peroxide on it, but I love it. We got back to the hotel and we got in trouble cause we skipped some thing, but w/e I had fun. :]

I would hold you in my arms
I would take the pain away
Thank you for all you've done
Forgive all your mistakes
There's nothing I wouldn't do
To hear your voice again
Sometimes I wanna call you
But I know you won't be there

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

I missed Craig soo much. Like I had loads of fun, but just the fact I did not see him this weekend drove me crazy. Its really silly cause it was like.. Three days, but still, I really like him. I got to call him though when I was up there, and we talked for like.. 7 minutes, and it was great. Before I left he gave me a note he wrote, and I read it on the bus and my eyes were all watery cause I was so happy. He is great to me, he really is. I have not like ever gotten mad at him about anything, nothing about him makes me want to yell or cry over. He actually cares too. He doesn't make me like a trophy girl friend, he actually treats me like I am a person. We have a laughs, and we can talk about anything without getting disgusted. Its just really exciting and it's something I haven't had in a long time, so it feels like. I finally found someone to make me happy all the time.

Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit
Sometimes I just wanna hide 'cause it's you I miss
And it's so hard to say goodbye
When it comes to this, oooh

Would you tell me I was wrong?
Would you help me understand?
Are you looking down upon me?
Are you proud of who I am?

Valentines Day is in two days, going to spend it with Craig. This is my first valentines that I am actually with someone too. Kinda nervous and I don't know what to expect really. I mean what do I get him? Should I look really pretty? Or should I act like its just a normal night out? Valentines is just a Hallmark holiday really. Like, they make it such a big deal that its Valentines day and you have to give presents to the person you love or your with. What about the other 363 days of the year? I mean c'mon people, you need to show your love everyday..!! ....Anyways, I am not sure what were doing for that night, but I'll have fun no matter what, whether it is Valentines Day or not. :]

There's nothing I wouldn't do
To have just one more chance
To look into your eyes
And see you looking back

Ohh I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself, ohh

College apps are almost done. All I have to do is write the essays. Just like.. 2 more essays. I have one college due the 15th, but I can finish it, I can be a good essay writer when I feel like it lol. I'm worried about college and not sure if I can handle it. I am just nervous thats all really. I know I'll get in cause I've been working my ass off for almost.. uhh.. 16 years of my life now? Lol but yeah I'll get in. If not, I'll cry a lot :X.

If I had just one more day
I would tell you how much that I've missed you
Since you've been away
Ooh, it's dangerous
It's so out of line
To try and turn back time

So yeah, I looked at my little two year calender and I read last year's Feb and I noticed on the 11th last year was your accident. I started to cry. And then I started to listen to this song, and I have it on repeat because its just how it was before you passed. Its funny because like, it was this song was meant for us. I hurt you, you hurt me. But I feel as if I hurt you more because of the last chat we had. I got so mad at you because of what you said, and I never got to say good-bye or that I was sorry. You crashed, hit a coma and passed when you woke up. I miss you. I want to call, but I know no one will pick up. Even the stall's phone, I can't do it. I'm scared, and the fact that you've been gone almost a year hurts even more. I am surprised that I could make it this long without you. I always said if you died I would kill myself too. Funny huh? I still read the "Shay Journal". Half of me tells me to just throw it away, and move on, but I can't. I love you still. It hurts because I know your not there anymore, you do not exist anymore. I'm sorry and I wish I could of been there. I love you.

I'm sorry for blaming you
For everything I just couldn't do
And I've hurt myself by hurting you

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Comments {3}


From: grumpybear354
Date: Feb. 13th, 2008 05:33 am (UTC)

Hey! Long time without talking. Just giving you a heads up to probably not use hydrogen peroxide on the industrial, because it causes more problems with healing piercings than it does good. It's sick you got that done! Congrats!

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From: schan9610
Date: Feb. 13th, 2008 05:54 pm (UTC)

haha thanks! yeah i told charlene that it wasn't helping or healing and was getting more sore so im not gonna use that anymore. :] thanks!

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From: townsendtun
Date: Jul. 23rd, 2012 05:18 pm (UTC)


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